


It Was Just a Dream (rewrite)

by angelsfalling16



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, SnowBaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-02-29 09:15:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18775318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsfalling16/pseuds/angelsfalling16
Summary: What happens when Simon wakes up and everything that happened in Carry On was just a dream?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In celebration of it being a year since the first time that I read Carry On, I decided to rewrite the first fic that I ever posted. For months, I have been dying to just go and delete this fic because of how horribly written it was, but because it was my first fic, I wouldn’t allow myself to do that.
> 
> Instead, I’ve rewritten it, and I’m hoping that I’ve managed to improve it. (And not just by doubling the word count because that was not my intention lol) I will be leaving the original up as a reminder to myself of how for that I’ve come. (Also, I kind of find it fitting that I started my fics with Simon pushing Baz against the wall, and now that has become a constant in a lot of my fics.

**Simon**

I roll over in my bed and stare up at the ceiling. I shiver at the feeling of the cold sweat making my shirt stick to my back. I run a hand through my hair, tangled as usual, and let my eyes fall shut again, trying to keep out the bright light that’s shining through the window.

It’s later than the usual time that I get up, and when I turn my head to look at the other side of the room, I find that Baz is already up. A rush of images come flooding into my head as I look over his perfectly made bed. They’re images from a dream that I had last night.

I try to make them out, but they’re vague and coming too fast. I shut my eyes and try to focus on them. They slow a bit, but they’re still blurry. None of it makes sense, but the feelings in it, they seem so real.

There was a dragon attack, and th-the Mage died. I was surrounded by vampires, and then, I was surrounded by fire. I feel like there’s something that I’m forgetting, some important piece of the dream. I try to reach out for it, to grasp onto the pieces and put them together, but the more I reach for them, the farther they get from me.

I hear the bathroom door open, and my eyes snap back open. Baz walks out with his hair combed back, and it’s dripping water down onto broad line of his shoulders. I shoot up in bed as another set of images pops into my head.

I feel my cheeks flame at the realization of what I did in the dream and what I wish that I could do now. W-with _Baz_.

I should tear my eyes away from him, but I can’t. I follow a water droplet with my eyes as it slips out of his hair and rolls down the side of his neck, disappearing underneath the neckline of his Watford uniform. My mouth feels suddenly dry, and I wet my lips as I look back up to meet his eyes. His very hostile eyes.

Why would I dream about Baz? Why would I dream about doing _that_ with Baz?

The images become stronger, and there is no way that I’ll be able to forget about the dream now. I can’t forget the way that I ran my fingers through his hair, pulling it out of its slicked-back state and watching it fall in waves around his face. It was more than that, though, because it wasn’t just that moment.

We were kissing. _I_ kissed _him_. We were at his house, in his room, and I was kissing him. And he was kissing me back.

I don’t understand why I would dream about kissing Baz. He hates me. He has always hated me, and I’m supposed to hate him, too. So, why does this one dream make me doubt all of that?

I realize too late that he’s noticed me staring, and there’s now a sneer marring his sharp features.

“Crowley, Snow. Stare much?”

I force myself to look away, but I continue to watch him out of the corner of my eye as he walks over to his bed to put together some of his things. He looks good in his uniform; it fits him perfectly and hugs him in all the right places.

I have the urge to reach out and touch him. Our beds are so close together that I could probably do it while still in my own bed. That’s when I realize that I’ve thought about doing this before. I thought about a lot of things to do with Baz that I’ve never allowed myself to acknowledge. There has always been something there, but there was never a way for me to admit it. And now, I can’t forget it.

All those times that I followed him around or watched everything that he did while claiming that I was trying to find out what he was plotting, I just wanted to be near him. I still thought that he was plotting something all of those times, but that isn’t why I followed him.

I watch as he moves over to his wardrobe to pull out a jumper, and I make a decision. I push off my blankets and stand up. I don’t let myself think about what it is that I’m about to do. Not thinking is what I’m best at after all. I walk over to him, grab his arm, and spin him around, pushing him up against the wall.

“Snow, what do you think you’re doing? The anathema.” He’s sneering at me again.

I shake my head. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

I don’t care how he’ll react as I lean towards him. If Baz Pitch is going to kill me, it might as well be today, and I might as well get to see what it feels like to really kiss him.

He looks like he’s about to push me off of him, so I lean forward and quickly press my lips to his.

**Baz**

What the hell? Simon Snow is…kissing me? _Why_ is he kissing me?

I start to push him off, placing my hands on his chest, but instead of pushing, I feel my hands curl into fist in the front of his shirt and pull him closer. Because I’m weak. Because if Simon wants to do this, I’m not going to say no.

I’ve known that I was in love him for years now, but never in my wildest dreams did I think that he would be the one to kiss me. I always thought that I would be the one who kissed him, both of us covered in blood, right before he killed me. I believed that that would be how this all ended.

**Simon**

Baz is kissing me back. I expected him to at least punch me for doing this, even if the anathema did kick him out, but he hasn’t even tried to push me away.

I figure that I must be dreaming this as he pulls me closer and leans into the kiss. That, or this is some kind of trick. It must be part of his evil plot to kill me.

That thought alone should make me want to push him away, but I don’t. I don’t want to stop kissing him, and the fact that he seems to want it at least as much as I do keeps me going. It makes me want to try something else that I remember from my dream.

I move slowly, not wanting to scare him off as I remove my hand from his arm and slide it onto waist. He gasps into my mouth, surprised, but he doesn’t push me away.

**Baz**

Snow starts rubbing my stomach, and I lean into his touch. It feels soft and comforting, and my fists tighten in his shirt because I’m not sure what I should be doing with them. I’ve never even kissed anyone before, and I don’t want to do the wrong thing. Simon seems to know what he’s doing, though, so I let him continue to take the lead.

He slips his fingers in between two of the buttons on my shirt, and I moan softly against his mouth as his warm fingers meet my cold skin. I feel the blood that I drank last night rise to my face, and I’m glad that our eyes are closed so that he can’t see it.

His fingers are moving in slow circles over my stomach, and I feel myself relax. I let myself enjoy this, too afraid that it’s all a joke to pull back and ask him what he’s doing.

Then, he’s unbuttoning my shirt and sliding his hand all the way inside, and I can’t think anymore.

This kiss is better than I ever could have imagined it. Maybe I am imagining it, and when I open my eyes again, it will all disappear. But the way that his mouth feels on mine, soft but unrelenting, and the way his hand feels on my stomach as he rubs against it is nothing that I ever could have dreamt up.

I move my hands finally and slide them into his golden curls. His hair is a lot softer than it looks.

Simon starts to pull away, but I tangle my fingers in his hair and pull him back to me. There is no way that I’m ever letting him go. Not after this.

“Oh my,” a voice says behind Snow.

I knew I forgot to do something when I came back form the Catacombs last night. I mentally kick myself for not remembering to lock the door because now, this perfect moment has been ruined.

**Simon**

I pull away form Baz and stumble back so quickly that I nearly fall as I turn to see who has just walked in. It’s Penny, and right at this moment, I hate that she is able to get into Mummers House. I run a hand through my hair and take a deep breath.

“I can explain,” I say to her.

“No need.” She grins. “What happens in this room stays in this room.” Then, she just turns around and walks away like nothing happened at all. I know that I’ll have to deal with her questions later, but I’m so glad that she is giving me and Baz a moment alone.

I turn back around to face him again, a small part of me worrying that he’ll have somehow managed to sneak away while my back was turned, but he’s still there. He’s leaning against the wall casually as if I wasn’t the one who pushed him there just a minute ago. He’s got a mask in place, not a sneer, but also not altogether pleasant. It’s a little worrying.

Is he going to pretend like that didn’t just happen? Like we didn’t kiss?

I can feel my heart fall at that prospect. I thought that he might have enjoyed kissing me, but I guess I might have misread the situation entirely. He probably doesn’t feel the same way. It doesn’t explain why he let me kiss him, though. Unless it was some cruel plan to string me along for a moment.

Merlin, I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t have kissed him. Yet, strangely, I still don’t regret it. No matter what he says or does now, I don’t regret kissing Baz.

**Baz**

Simon can’t just pretend like what he did didn’t actually happen. He doesn’t get to kiss me and then pretend like it was nothing. If he does, I really will kill him.

I lean against the wall, hoping that he doesn’t realize how badly I want for us to go back to what we were doing. I can’t let him see how deep in this I really am.

It was probably just a kiss for him, an experiment maybe, and I just happened to be the only one around. Maybe it was a joke to him. (I really hope it wasn’t, but I have to prepare myself for that possibility.)

**Simon**

Baz is just standing there, staring at me. He’s still not sneering at me, and I can’t read the expression on his face. It’s like he’s waiting for me to do or say something. I just have to figure out what it is that he wants.

“Simon, I—.”

But I don’t know what he was about to say because as soon as I hear him utter my name, I’ve crossed the distance between us and pushed him back up against the wall, my mouth pressed hard to his.

I feel him smile against me, and I smile back. This is how we should have spent all of these years together. We should have been finding ways to make each other smile, not trying to kill each at other at every step.

I suppose there’s always time for us to start over, and I plan to suggest that we do just that.

This may have all started out as just a dream, but it’s real now.


	2. What happens in their room definitely does not stay in their room...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone was wondering what Penny's reaction was, so I wrote a quick little thing from her pov!

**Penny**

I hurry away from Simon and Baz’s room and back down to the dining hall for breakfast. Simon wasn’t there yet, and it’s not like him to be late, so I wanted to check on him to make sure that he was alright.

 When I walked into his and Baz’s room, though, I found them making out with Simon’s hand inside Baz’s shirt. They both look like deer caught in the headlights when they saw me. Baz tried to hide it his surprise, but the look of guilt was written all over his face. I quickly turned away, leaving them to it, vowing to never enter their room uninvited again.

For the record, I did knock. I guess they just didn’t hear me, what with being too busy apparently trying to undress each other before class.

I was shocked to see them together like that when I’m always expecting to have to break up another one of their fights, but it sort of makes sense now that I think about.

They are always fighting – there’s no doubt about it – but it never seemed like it was real hate that was driving them. It was like they were only doing it because they thought that they had to.

Seeing them as a couple, it looked right. They looked like they fit together, and I’m surprised that I didn’t see it sooner.

I return to the dining hall and wait for Simon to show up for breakfast. There isn’t much time left, but he never misses a meal.

I told him that what happens in their room stays in their room, but that’s definitely not true. I can’t just not ask him about it. If they want to keep their relationship a secret, that’s fine, but how could he not tell me? I’m his best friend. He never keeps secrets from me, and I wonder how long he has managed to keep this from me.

Simon finally shows up to breakfast, sans Baz, with only a few minutes to eat before we have to get to class. He won’t look at me, but there is a blush spreading across his face.

“So...you and Baz,” I say when he sits down with a full plate of food.

“What happened to what happens in our room stays in our room?”

“I mean, I really hope you don’t try to take his clothes off in places other than your room, but that’s not really any of my business, nor is it what I want to know about.”

“What do you want to know then?” He asks, giving in without much of a fight. Maybe he was just waiting for the right moment to tell me about him and Baz.

“How long have you two been seeing each other?”

“We haven’t.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, confused.

He shrugs. “It was just that kiss that you saw.”

“Wait. Seriously? That was the first time that you kissed?” He nods. “Oh, I’m sorry that I interrupted. It really did look like you two had been together for longer, though.”

A smile plays at his lips, but he doesn’t say anything.

“So, you and Baz,” I repeat. “Are you a couple now then?”

His eyes flicker in the direction of where Baz usually sits even though we both know he isn’t there, and the smile finally wins, spreading across his face. I’ve never seen him look that happy before, and I can’t believe that Baz is the cause of it.

“Yeah,” he says slowly. “We are.”

“I’m happy for you,” I tell him, and his smile seems to widen into a full-on grin.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, looking down at his plate.

“And I’ll be sure to knock next time. I’ve already seen more of Baz than I ever wanted.”

“Penny,” he hisses, his face turning an even darker shade of red, and I laugh, knowing that this is going to be a lot of fun.


End file.
